Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
