Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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