I am in a vortex of obligation.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize