I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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