my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize