I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize