You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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