The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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