My friends, they love my intelligence
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
