is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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