We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize