party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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