i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
