idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
