I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
