Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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