Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
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