Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
So here I am, sexting at work.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
