is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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