and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
