I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
