I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize