even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize