ugly people sure do ruin things
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
