with your own penis?
I cannot find my penis.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
