Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
