Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize