I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
All the doctor said was why
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
