I could have mohawked her pubes.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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