i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
