physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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