just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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