Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
why do cheetos always look like penises
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
