Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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