the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Randomize
