First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
it's like iHOP with fire
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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