I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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