If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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