There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
