Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
