Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
