Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
