eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
you traded sex for a burrito?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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