forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
