He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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