I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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