your parents love me but you hate me
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
