turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
