do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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