I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
