Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
