Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize