when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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