If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
