Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
