That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
