saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
