Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
