I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
