I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
