We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
