I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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